It has been a while since I have posted and so much happened in my life, first my 18 year old nephew moved in and then a month later my strong supporter had a massive heart attack and I had to push aside my issues and health and focus on his, he needed me and I know I would be lost without him, my life needed him to get better.

I have still been studying but only part time I quickly realised it was too stressful and not good for my health to do the full course at once.

Mentally I have my ups and downs, but there appears to be more good days so far than bad, I have been able to draw more and its improving as well as right.

For now I think we have found the right medications I take 20mg of Lexapro and 7.5mg of Zyprexa, I have been working on quitting smoking but some days its too hard and my anxiety is all over the place and I cave and buy a packet, this last week has been a good example of my buying packets.

Due to the adverse reactions I have to nicotine replacements I am using a vapor and have a small dosage of nicotine in it and slowly ween myself off it, there are some really great flavours out there like monkey mouse or fairy floss, so much to chose from and easy to spend money on them.

I have started with a friend an online book promotional company so far, no authors have signed up, but I am hopeful.

I also got my new camera and it is just amazing, so between all my creative outlets each personality gets the chance to express themselves.

I have also noticed that slowly my thoughts are more coherent and in some sort of order, there are times where I still need my husband to translate for me into a language that I can understand but I am getting better. But still so fragile the simplest thing can trigger me to regress for a few hours to even several days.

It is hard knowing that I once was a person that could hold down a full time career and able to live totally independent should I chose to and now I need a career, some one that can make the decisions for me that I cannot, some one that makes sure the bills are paid, that we have good healthy food in the house, one that if need be decided if I would be hospitalized or where we should live.

There are many out there that do not understand hidden illnesses especially mental health, it is no laughing matter metal illnesses effects your life in so many ways and those around you.

I had my specialist complete a medical assessment for housing and knowing what is wrong with you and seeing it on paper is still a shock, to see you suffer from panic attack, serve anxiety, auditory hallucinations, obsessive behaviour and all this is part of some of what I go through on a daily basis living with Chronic Complex PTSD, Bipolar effective disorder and multiple personality disorder.

On another note I received an email a few days ago from a group of healthcare enthusiast that would like to do guest posts on here, also another blog has reached out and want to share their stories and interviews with others that suffer from hidden illnesses so I will be sharing their posts with you also.

So, where this was one woman’s journey of sharing her life experiences and struggles I will continue to do this but there will be others that share their stories. So stay tuned for more to come

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